The first load of my stuff goes home today. The summer is creeping up on me. My television, dvd player, vcr, microwave, laundry, and odds and ends all go home now. Apparently, there is a present waiting for me when I get home. I'm excited. It's a purse, very small, but some designer name. My mum got it for me somewhere and I appreciate it, even if it isn't something I would ever choose for myself. 

The heavy, ominous footsteps that are echoing through the air is the summer lumbering steadily toward me. Oh god.

You know that feeling you get when you're trying to stay on top of things, but as hard as you try nothing much happens. I'm there fight now. Why is it that I cannot keep my head screwed on? I'm supposed to choreograph a minute of "Diamond Dogs" by Beck, the David Bowie cover from Moulin Rouge! and I have next to nothing. Perhaps I shouldn't have waited this long, but then again I've been studying for finals.

I want a nice distraction from all of this. I would prefer something living and breathing, very person-shaped, but I will take an asteroid or fire at this point. A nice big fire that consumes a building or two on the quad and fucks up the finals schedule, I could deal with that. 

Brains, everywhere. My uncharitability is anything but becoming. I really ought to get to work.

After an hour of blasting Placebo and being extremely hungry, I've reached that point where I'm sitting somewhere over my left shoulder, watching myself. I took my first final earlier today, which was actually Friday. Time is slipping through the hourglass.

That's the thing that gets me. I'm so out of it that I'm just watching. 

I found a can of chicken noodle soup. The noodles taste rather a lot like the can they came in, but it mostly liquid anyhow, which is extremely appealing. But that isn't the point. This may well be the best noodle-soup I've ever had--yes it is that good and I am that hungry--but that doesn't change anything. That is not the point.

A few weeks ago, I met a guy at a party, and then I didn't see him again. And then one day I did see him again, and not too long after that we went for a walk in the cemetery, and I'm interested in this Mystery White Boy, who is very smart and very scatter-brained and rather sexy. He isn't interested in me. But that is not the point.

I've started stretching my ears. At the moment I'm only at a 14 gauge, since my ears are stubborn and Lunchbox, the man who was installing them, refused to put in 10 gauges after he realized my ears were not so elastic as he had first thought. I will be getting my tragus pierced before the summer starts. I'm excited. But that is not the point either.

When did my life decide to hollow itself out without my knowledge? I've been coasting for ages.

Performance tonight! Global Village is taking place, and Trikhala is dancing. This is great, but I found out last night that I have a solo.

Last night. I don't even have music yet.

So I'm going to go go work on that. Or perhaps die in the attempt.

I need about 3 more days added to every week. This would make life so much easier, as then I might stand a chance at getting things finished on time. At the moment, I have a 16 page History paper due Monday, as well as two French papers, and my first exam - Human Sexuality - is Wednesday. I'm missing the class tonight because of dance, and that means I won't have the notes. I want to quit so badly.

I really shouldn't complain. A great deal of this is my fault, all because I procrastinated. Besides, after Wednesday, it will all be over, and I can just study for finals and chill.  

The end is nigh.

How can it be that a person can be very nice to be around, but when one is not around them, it is nigh on impossible to find anything one likes about them?

Please let me state right now that this is not an issue about only wanting sex from said person, thus finding it hard to be fond of them when sex is not being had. I wish that were the case, as it would make so much more sense, and lord knows I wouldn't be complaining, as it would be just fine and dandy for me if that were how things worked.* 

At the moment, I am drinking questionable soymilk. I know Silk is supposed to be the good stuff, but I find myself liking the generic kind that Aldi sells much better. It just tastes less like soy beans and more like an actual beverage. Brunch starts at 11:30, so this is all I have to occupy mys tomach with until then, and god help me, I am hungry.** There are three green apples sitting on/near my desk, but they have, I think, been sitting here a wee bit too long to be healthy. Not an option, I'm afraid.

Dance today, from 1:00 to 6:00. We're practicing for the homecoming variety show with all the other acts, so I doubt we will be busy the entire 5 hours.  We are required to be present, however, which is still a bit of a killer.On the other hand, I found black pants to dance in, so goodbye skirt. They are lovely and comfortable and the legs are absurdly wide. They're really just very nice sweat pants, and they have a horrible faux-sports symbol on the top of the right thigh with 10 written in it, but that can be covered with a creative patch and interesting stitching. I'm excited about the performance, and about the pants, and pretty much everything about dance right now. 

 My roommate and her boyrfriend are still in my room, sleeping. I found them here when I got back this morning. It amuses that my roommate was so all about going to church this morning, but is instead now skipping it to sleep in after engaging in pre-marital sex. Funny as it is though, I really just wanna kick them out. Why is it that other poeple touching creeps me the fuck out? 

And now I am off to eat.

* - This is patently untrue. I doubt very seriously I could manage that sort of thing. Especially with Sean of all people, a very nice young man who inspires me not in the least.
** - It should be noted that I told Sean I wasn't hungry at all in a mad and shameless attempt to leave his presence as quickly as possible. Why I didn't simply break it off with him this morning, I will never know.

Today I:

- Went to the park
- Got caught in the rain
- Attended mass
- Ate an ice cream cone while walking down the street
- Sat in front of my computer for 40 minutes and wrote nothing

I have terrible writer's block. It's like having bronchitis, only the mucus is made of rubber cement that's nearly dry, and all that mucus isn't in your lungs, but in your brain. I, being the poster-child of winter respiratory battles, am about to lose my mind. The ideas are all there, swimming around like cheeky little minnows, cackling at my horrible attempts.

My eyes are growing fur from all the awake. It is a testament to my current state that I have come to think of awake as a tangible object. The minnows find it amusing. Can fish laugh, or do they just sort of bubble with the hilarity? I don't know. Damn the minnows. Damn the mucus. 

There is one light in the darkness.

astrid087

In a few moments, it will be high time that I get up off my lazy butt and take a shower.

HOWEVER...

Now is not that time. Not just yet. Why?

Because at this very moment, it is time for me to do a happy dance, a dance that celebrates something that I just discovered.

Surrender The Gray is being posted! I may be the last person in the world who noticed, but there it is.

A string of my christmas lights burned ot this morning. I plugged them in, and nothing happened, which was alright in the sense that it was only part of one string, but this is still disconcerting.

They just came back on. No joke, this second. Maybe they're teasing me. I'm not sure what to think now.

Two days till I am home.

Things that MUST be Finished before Sunday

laundry
packing
acquiring a roll of quarters 
finding all my books and putting them in one place
finding a way to smuggle said books back to campus
telling mum that I'd rather not come back here for another vac*
finding a way to do so that won't get all my stuff put on the street corner*
doing something about my hair**
fix large chip in favorite oversized mug
clean basement
find kitchen scissors
develop photos from disposable camera
pick up prescription from Walgreen's
read at least fifty more pages in Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel***

I think the world stopped at the start of break, and no it's started to turn very quickly to make up the difference. Very well then, world. Do as you like, I am ready for you. I think. And now it is time to start on this list, or it will never be finished by Sunday.

* - these two could prolly wait, come to think of it
** - it is, at the moment, unacceptable; come to think, it has been for a while
*** - a girl can dream, right?

Three days till I am home again. Three little days. I can't wait till this vacation is done. 

Today has been as strange one. I spent the start of it reading and reading and reading some more, and for the past few hours I have been writing furiously. I like it so far.

Off now to find names for these characters, as it has been two pages and they still don't have any. This must be done in fifteen minutes or less, as Ugly Betty is coming on very soon.